Ben Hamilton could not lose.
After finishing a job and pocketing a decent whack, he embarked on a gambling spree, driving from venue to venue.
He just kept winning, he had thousands in his wallet.
By 8pm, as he drove to yet another venue, he was heavily intoxicated and riddled with guilt.
He'd had a problem with gambling since he was 18. His friends and family all knew it and so did his wife Jasmine.
Ben began to hate himself; he'd had enough.
In a split second, Ben made a decision to hurt himself.
Luckily, his injuries were only superficial, but he lost his driving licence, and had to fork out thousands of dollars to fix his van, pay a fine and cover legal fees.
It was 2018 when Ben realised he had to turn his life around.
"I decided enough was enough - I had to make a change," Ben told 9News Watch.
"I was bad on all gambling, but pokies were the worst.
"I knew I had a problem but every three or six months I would have these hectic episodes.
"I became evasive, secretive. When I decided to take my life, it was after a big win. I had three or four thousand dollars on me."
Ben saved his marriage and now they have a near three-year-old son, August.
His tiling and waterproofing firm is also doing good business.
Ben's story is now more relevant than ever
Ben, 29, is from East Ballina, in the Northern Rivers region of NSW and he is sharing his story in the hope that it helps others.
His message is particularly relevant at a time when pubs and clubs are about to reopen and the pokie machines flicker back into people's lives.
"It's the first time I've felt safe in my whole life," Ben said.
"But lots of people will go straight back to the machines when they are turned on again."
It's a problem recognised by the Alliance for Gambling Reform, who recently launched a campaign, Build Back Better, which aims to rebuild a thriving pubs and community clubs sector post COVID-19, that doesn't rely on poker machines.
It's estimated that as much as $2 billion has been saved by gamblers since the machines were turned off in March when venues were forced to shut.
Spokesman Tony Mohr says several people have approached the organisation saying they are happier with the situation in lockdown.
"They've been noticing how much they were losing because the money is now in their bank account," he said.
The Alliance wants priority given to pubs and clubs that want to change their mould but need a financial helping hand.
As an example of what government support can be given, the ACT offers clubs $15,000 for each pokie machine they "retire".
Mr Mohr says the space the machines take up could be given over to performance areas, for bands and comedians.
Now is the perfect time to hit the reset button, he suggests.
"There will be a prolonged period while COVID-safe rules are implemented, when we have the opportunity to think about what a transition looks like," he said.
"And get to a point where we don't have to worry about going to a pub, your uncle or a mate, wandering down the back, wind up getting lost on a machine. And coming back with nothing."
'Gambling is the problem, not the pubs and clubs'
Pubs and clubs are the lifeblood of many suburbs and regional towns, supporting community groups and local sport.
They are social epicentres.
Ben grew up with gambling in the household and believes gambling problems can be intergenerational.
He also believes playing them is glorified entertainment, particularly among the younger demographic.
"It's fun, it's casual and the people that have gambling issues are seen as the problem, not the venues or the machines," he said.
He's hoping to change the mindset of his local community with a social media movement called Kickin' The Punt that he has co-founded with Jasmine.
"We're really trying to get people talking about gambling as possible, trying to remove the stigma that's attached to people that suffer with addiction, support our members and those affected," he said.
"There's a whole ripple effect. My gambling's damaged people around me."
Ben also dreams of opening a rehab facility to help others.
"By helping others, it empowers me to stay away from the machines and do the right thing for me and my family," he said.
It's been a tough 18 months. Ben is grateful to the guy who took a chance on him and gave him a job, Jayden King, who runs a local tiling firm.
He believes he is now in a "strong position".
"I'll never go back but I am wary of the temptation," he said.
"I can't even buy a raffle ticket or I know I will end up on the pokies."
Lifeline – 13 11 14
Gambers Anonymous - www.gaaustralia.org.au
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